"Among men, misogyny hides in plain sight, and not just because most men are oblivious to the problem or callous toward its impact. Men who objectify and threaten women often strategically obscure their actions from other men, taking care to harass women when other men aren’t around."
"These are forms of male aggression that only women see. But even when men are afforded a front seat to harassment, they don’t always have the correct vantage point for recognizing the subtlety of its operation. Four years before the murders, I was sitting in a bar in Washington, D.C. with a male friend. Another young woman was alone at the bar when an older man scooted next to her. He was aggressive, wasted, and sitting too close, but she smiled curtly at his ramblings and laughed softly at his jokes as she patiently downed her drink. 'Why is she humoring him?' my friend asked me. 'You would never do that.' I was too embarrassed to say: 'Because he looks scary' and 'I do it all the time.'
"Women who have experienced this can recognize that placating these men is a rational choice, a form of self-defense to protect against setting off an aggressor. But to male bystanders, it often looks like a warm welcome, and that helps to shift blame in the public eye from the harasser and onto his target, who’s failed to respond with the type of masculine bravado that men more easily recognize."
This article made me think about THAT PRETY PRETTY; OR THE RAPE PLAY by Sheila Callaghan which was a play I shared with the Strand back when I was the Literary Manager at Woolly Mammoth. That play provides commentary on the way in which violence against women is commercialized, but it also speaks to this quiet threat of violence that women navigate every day. To me, the most horrific scene is the one in reality as we watch Jane navigate the joking suggestions of violence while she does her job delivering food to Owen and Rodney in their hotel room.